I am the ultimate busy mind.
Seriously, I could tell you stories for days of all the creative ways I've found to avoid work I don't want to do.
Take my mom's cat to the vet? Check!
Climb on a friend's roof to sweep off fallen branches. Did that!
And I have an entire notebook filled with detailed plans of "life-changing" trips I never took. Don't even get me started on the five year, down to the last dollar, financial plans I've created (and then blown up).
I've also been plagued with a steady stream of "shoulds" and expectations and the responsible, no risk decisions that weighed me down for years.
I'm a licensed psychologist (no need for formalities though, call me Jessica or Dr. Jessica), award-winning author, recognized expert in my field and I even train other mental health professionals in the type of therapy I do and yet still felt inadequate, like a fraud.
Because my mind never stopped telling me I was. And I never stopped trying to "fix" it or make it bend to my will. Which inevitably took up all of my time and energy.
Then I had a realization.
I have a journal that I've been writing in since 2008 which I'm sure gives you an idea of just how infrequently I write in it. But I was having fun one day flipping back through the pages, laughing at the silly things I was worried about. And then I saw it.
Year after year: "This is the year that I . . ." Followed by pages and pages of regret. And in that moment I was so tired of letting myself down.
Wasn't there a better way to go through life than a constant struggle between who you want to be and the fears and expectations that hold you back?
I knew the type of change that worked took a series of small steps over time. Yet those changes are hard to make on your own without any guidance or support.
So I developed a program to do just that.
You can't pivot without first knowing your starting point.